Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
