oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
