my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
