I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
