We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
