I just made out with a guy for $7.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
