Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
