Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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