Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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