Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
