I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
