I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
