my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
