he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
