Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found puke in my bra..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
