I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
