i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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