Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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