I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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