Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
