and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
