Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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