Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
