Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
