Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
