Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
worst night to have a conscience
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Randomize
