so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
