So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
