If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
