do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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