ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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