Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
