At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
