just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
