someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
