there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
