Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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