D3 body, D1 cock
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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