who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
