I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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