I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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