I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
