I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
