So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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