I cannot find my penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
