we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
