Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Vodka?
Forever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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