If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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