Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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