yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have fence marks all over my body
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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