is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
